


All of a Sudden

by ilikefunsocks



Category: I Am The Night (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 05:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikefunsocks/pseuds/ilikefunsocks
Summary: Fauna couldn't stand him. Or so she thought.Or: Fauna takes a lot of risks in this one. She's feeling very 'spur of the moment' yk. And Jay...? Well, he's Jay.Kind of an AU... I ship these two but their age gap is pretty legit so this is in which Jay is a little younger and Fauna is now in college.





	All of a Sudden

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone (if anyone ever reads this bc its kind of a dead fandom...) This is a oneshot unless people really want to read more or if I feel like writing more. I'm pretty new to the whole writing fanfic thing (usually my fandoms have already talented writers!!!) I thought I should add to what is already on this site bc there is so little content/fics for I Am the Night (thank you to everyone who has written though y'all are great). Anywho I wanted to write something about these two bc of their amazing chemistry on screen! I can't decide if I'm happy with the outcome of this, but hey, it's worth a shot right? Anyway, this note is too long so happy reading I guess!

It wasn’t something that she wanted. Needed? No. It almost seemed selfish. That was how Fauna justified it anyway. Really, it didn’t make much sense to her either. There wasn’t a time she knew when it started, but there also wasn’t a time when she could remember life without this feeling. And that’s just how it gets you, isn’t it? That feeling that didn’t seem it could fit into four letters. Hate.

Fauna couldn’t stand him. She tried not to get offended when he was too absorbed in his work or so drunk that he wouldn’t even notice her walk past him as she entered his apartment. What was the point of giving her the key then? The concept of being ignored when she arrived home wasn’t new to her compared to her living circumstances before, but she figured she’d at least get a hello. Sometimes he’d leave a carton of milk with barely anything left in it. He also left dishes in the sink to pile up into oblivion. He’d hardly shave, which she didn’t have much control over, but thought it looked more professional when he did. No, she was _not_ a housewife to him but really? And the list goes on, but what really got to her she didn’t understand herself. It mystified her, those small actions that would drive her crazy.

Out of the blue, he’d be unexplainably sweet to her? One of the days she decided to stop by, there was a pot of tall Easter lilies (her favorite) sitting on the kitchen counter. As her eyes wandered, she saw the clean kitchen sink, the dishes drying on the mat next to it. The sight made her stop in her step only halfway through the doorway. Fauna supposed her reaction was due to the year of watching his own home slowly become more of a mess.

“Hey,” Jay spoke, jarring her from the lovely daze she was in. His back was to her and his eyes were glued to the paper in front of him. Huh, she got flowers _and_ a hey?

“Uh, hey,” Fauna closed the door behind her. The latch caught and she paced over to the lilies that sat peacefully on the kitchen counter. Her bag slid off her shoulder, heaping itself on the chair next to Jay. She couldn’t resist her nose diving into the petals to ingest the lingering scent. “The flowers are nice.” She let her fingers graze the white flower finding the petals to be softer than she remembered them. Jay’s eyes flitted away from the words he was typing. He made a final click and stood up, subsequently pushing the chair away from the table.

“You like ‘em?” His figure took the few steps to meet her at the counter. Jay’s eyes drifted to her hand, still touching the petals. “They’re your favorite right?” Fauna nodded, her hand now supporting her lean on the counter. His eyes focused on random things in the room anything but her own as he said, “I saw them when I was out today and since Easter is coming up, I thought I’d have at least one decoration so-” Fauna’s lips turned upwards which in turn brought Jay out of his explanation.

“I love them. Thank you.” A small laugh exited along with the phrase. Jay only smiled and turned to go back to his typewriter. “What story are you writing now?” She allowed herself to sit with him for a few moments before she had to work on a paper for her English class.

“Nothing too extravagant, the usual robberies, scandals, and whatnot- this one’s interesting though,” his eyes lit up glancing at hers quickly before reading the description, “Someone reported an elderly lady stealing a man’s satchel.” Jay’s eyes laughed for him and Fauna exhaled in amusement. He always did have fun with the stories he could get a good title out of. Fauna sat up and went in the direction of the only bedroom in his apartment before turning around abruptly. Her mind spoke without her really wanting it to, but it was the only way she could get the words out.

“Do you think you could, um, read over-“ she cleared her throat as she saw how his eyes grew inquisitive, “Never mind, you have work to do. I got it-“

“No, no. This can wait. Is it for your English class?” Jay again paused his writing and gave her his full attention.

“Really, it’s not that important-” It was very important.

“Really, I don’t mind,” he pushed. Fighting the opposite side with Jay was no small feat. After years of pointless arguments, Fauna knew when it was best to give up. She went back over to her bag, realizing she’d left it next to Jay.

“So, yeah it’s for my English class. It’s my final paper and I haven’t had time to have anyone but myself to read over it.” She drew out her composition book from the folded bag, “It’s extremely long, you really don’t have to read it. I mean, r-“ He grabbed the notebook from my tight grasp as she pleaded to him.

“What page?” he stated simply, letting the pages flutter under his thumb to the last page Fauna had anything written in. She slid roughly 10 pages before the end while it was still in his grasp. Jay’s sight didn’t leave her handwriting. “Got it. What’s it about?” Fauna explained the project as best as she could without telling him what she did the entirety of the last semester. She left him a few moments later realizing he began reading it when he flipped his feet up onto the chair adjacent to him. Fauna remembered to grab her bag this time and retreated into his bedroom.

Okay, so maybe hate was a strong word. How else could she describe it though? She pondered this, grabbing the materials she’d need to complete the last few assignments she had before spring break. Spring break. Was she allowed to stay here during that time? During winter break she had gone back home with Jimmie Lee, but things ended shakily just before January came and Fauna knew she really wasn’t welcome there as much as she used to be when she was a teenager. She could stay at her dorm, but no one would be around except some people like her. People with nowhere else to go for the holidays. Her roommate would be gone as well. That was her least favorite thing in the world: being alone.

Instead of continuing her work, she set her pencil down and lied back on the desk chair. She shut her eyes as she let any of the city sounds be muffled by the middle fingers. She listened to the low ring inside her body, her pulse steady, breathing in and out. It was the only way she’d found over the years to focus on anything but her racing thoughts. The process wasn’t full proof, but it worked for moments like these. She had successfully gotten into a peaceful state of mind when the door opened.

“I finished your report and- are you okay?” She’d fallen asleep it seemed, which happened often after a long day of classes. Jay’s eyes softened as he realized he’d woken her up from a nap. “We can talk about it later; I didn’t realize you were asleep. Take a nap on the bed next time, you’ll mess up your neck sleeping like that.” If she’d planned the sleep, she would have. It wasn’t unusual for her to sleep here, whether to spend the night or for a nap like this. It occurred to her that she spent more time here than at her dorm. Her room at school became more of a study space than anything else. It might be beneficial to look into staying with him than at her dorm… What was she thinking? Living with a man she wasn’t even married to? She wouldn’t allow it. But, then again, what did she call this?

“Can I move in?” The question was spoken aloud for reasons only God knew. Jay was, rightfully, taken aback.

“Move-Move in? Here move in?” He pointed downwards with raised eyebrows. Fauna was slightly surprised the question caught him this off guard. She was basically living here anyway. However, she herself only understood that a few moments ago. They apparently weren’t the brightest pair. “Uh-“

“Well, I was thinking more next semester, but… Yeah.” Jay shuffled. He finally set her notebook down, markings and all, and sat down on his bed. Fauna turned her body so that she mirrored his.

“I-uh-I don’t see why not. I almost forgot you weren’t living here anyway,” Jay gave an awkward chuckle. “Anything to help you out,” he clarified. Their glances only caught each other for milliseconds before fleeting away for the next minute. Fauna shifted in her chair uncomfortably, not really knowing where this conversation should go. The tension grew like this and before it became tangible, she decided to break it.

“So, my report. What’d you think?”

They talked about her report and Jay had a lot of useful tips to give her. While it wasn’t creative writing, she was still grateful for his knowledge of the subject and any input he could grant her. They had gone on about her writing for a while before they realized they’d drifted off onto a completely different topic, but Fauna didn’t mind. Jay was in a conceivably good mood today and not even her work due tomorrow would get in the way of what was happening at that present moment.

Fauna found that the feeling she had for Jay wasn’t hatred a few hours later. They were both lying face up on his bed, the covers still tucked from the morning chores. The sun dwindled and cast one last orange glow across the city. In silence, they looked up at the ceiling after they had finished talking about what’s been going on the past month or two. Despite how often Fauna visited, they hardly talked like this. She suspected it was due to his closed-off nature and her inability to carry a conversation. It was comfortable, _they_ were comfortable. It might bother some people, but Fauna appreciated the ability to talk to someone who truly understood her. She’d tried talking to her roommate who had been living with her for the past 6 months, but she could never get past talking about how she’d tried to find her birth parents. Fauna decided it was best not to tell anyone she’d talked to her birth mom beside her closest family. Being somewhat of an outcast in high school was enough. Fauna and Jay’s unspoken agreement of no judgment was what brought this comfort. Maybe that made them friends, best friends she figured. These conversations may have been rare, but she could remember them all. This one, likewise, wasn’t different than any other, but something had to have physically changed. At first, she wondered if it was something about Jay like his scruffy face (that he still refused to shave) or the more upfront emotion in his words. Then, Fauna realized that nothing had really changed at all. Nothing but the way she felt around him now.

Hatred? No, probably not. Annoyance? Probably, but didn’t every relationship have that? It felt deeper. Her stomach lurched forward-thinking about him and if that wasn’t hatred then what? The feeling made her sick, how could that be anything other than unhealthy feelings for someone else?

The silence continued and the only thing saving her from sleep was the single light that survived the longest out of the three, peering down at her from the ceiling. She wondered if Jay had some kind of strong emotion toward her. Did he see her green eyes and get distracted? Did his heart quicken when he saw her walk through the door? The latter was probably false considering he hardly made the effort to greet her at all. The thought still made her yearn to know the full truth.

“Are you staying?" He asked nonchalantly. "I’m getting tired, I’ll go sleep on the couch.” _Don’t go,_ her mind begged_._ There it was. Her heart had beat her brain to the finish line of her racing thoughts. She couldn’t place the feeling in any other category. She’d read books about this; it wasn’t an unfamiliar concept. Stupid girls always not understanding that they loved the male protagonist. Fauna told herself she would never be that cliché girl. _Here I am_, she deduced. Jay was already shifting out of the bed before she got the courage to say anything.

“You can sleep here, I don’t mind.” The drumming of her heart grew more present. The argument was one they’d debated before, but Jay had always ‘won’ the couch. Never had she been this upset about losing, but she couldn’t help the want for their closeness to go on. She worried every second his blue eyes stuck to her face that he’d be able to hear the thumping under her chest considering how close they were. Her hope that his gaze was considering the proposition dwindled tremendously when he spoke again. He furrowed his brows, shaking his head minutely as he moved to the living room,

“I’ll be over there if you need anything.” The door shut. _Oh_.

It was one A.M. when she realized sleep would be unattainable that night. Not even her mini calming routine to shut her mind off succeeded. The hours passed agonizingly slow; each minute lasting triple their advertised time. The watch that had been previously located on her wrist, was now sat placidly ticking away on the desk beside her. She remained in her half-asleep/half-awake state for another few minutes before she decided she’d go crazy laying there any longer. Emerald eyes blinked open lethargically. She hadn’t even realized they’d been shut for so long. Her body begged for sleep, but her arms were already working her up into a sitting position. Her legs swung off the edge of the bed and her feet padded to the door across from her. Fauna’s hand hung on the knob of the door and her eyes fought to stay open with her mind functioning at half speed. When she remembered the knob was used to open the door, she went thoughtlessly to the couch where Jay was laying on his stomach. She mentally praised his balance while he was sleeping. His body teetered; one arm hanging off along with his right leg and the other half laying where it should.

“Jay,” she muttered. She thought she spoke his name loudly, but it wasn’t enough to wake him. What was she doing? Her mind began to catch up to her actions as she knelt to his side and leaned back on her calves. She repeated his name, this time with a nudge to his shoulder. What the hell was she going to say when he woke up? _Terrible, terrible plan_. She got up to go back to his bedroom. _Stupid_.

“Fauna? What-”_ Shit_. He stumbled out of his sleep to stand up only after he had fallen to the ground making the coffee table shudder. He groaned as he got up onto his first foot, “What’s wrong? Nightmares again?” With the next foot, he was standing. She only looked at him and tried to keep the bewildered look away from her expression. He seemed to take this response as a yes and opened his arms, sitting back down on the couch. “Commere,” he gestured. She couldn’t refuse the embrace, she never could with most people, especially not him. “What was it this time?” He didn’t have to reassure her that she didn’t have to tell him, not after the many times he only received silence as an answer. It went both ways really, sometimes he’d be screaming, sometimes he’d be shifting around like a dog dreaming of a rabbit and in both situations, she’d run over to comfort him. They found that talking about their dreams helped, but some were too horrible to say aloud.

“Why did you buy me those flowers.” It wasn’t necessarily a question for him. It was more of a statement that she had been pondering subconsciously. The white and green flora glared at them from the kitchen.

“The flowers," he deadpanned. "I bought them for you like I said- why did you wake me up to ask me this?” His arms were no longer around her and instead, his hands rubbed his eyes furiously. Fauna wrapped her arms around her waist, leaning back on the couch. She didn’t have an answer. “Fauna,” her attention was back on him,  
“What is this about? I really hope you wouldn’t wake me for no reason.” She wouldn’t. But this reason scared her. It scared her to think about how he would respond, she couldn’t fathom his reaction. Maybe he’d be mad. Or confused. Or maybe he wouldn’t say anything at all and that scared her the most. _Maybe he’d smile though_. No. That was a foolish thought. _Say it_. Absolutely not. _Say it_. She stood up and began to apologize.

“Sorry, I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” _Say it_.

“That’s a little harsh. Fauna how about I-“ _Say it dammit_. But that wasn’t what cut him off. She swiftly sat down beside him, her eyes still straining to stay awake. She looked at him once, the phrase still on his lips with a thumb pointed backwards to the kitchen. Shit. Her lips unceremoniously hit into his and there was a muffled grunt from his end. Shit, shit, shit. This was a step too far, what the hell was happening. He backed away. Big mistake on her part. Huge, enormous, gigantic mistake.

“Jay. I’m sorry, I’m stupid. I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry- I’m just- _sorry_.” She quickly paced out of the room, the corner of the couch dug into her thigh when she stumbled to lock herself away. She closed his bedroom door and her breathing quickened as she went into the bathroom and locked the door. No tears left her eyes as her mind screamed for some kind of exit. She sat in the tub that was also half shower. She drew the curtain and keeled over so that she could hug her knees. The position itself was very protective, but she wanted to run away. She should have done that, run away to her dorm. Instead, she was stuck in another man’s bathtub and the act of leaving now would be much too uncomfortable. Her face was hot against her knees. A knock sounded from the bathroom door and Fauna’s head stayed locked between her legs.

“Fauna?” There was no way in hell she’d talk to him now. “Look, how about we just talk? I’m not mad, but you can’t just… do _that_ and then run away.” Utter silence. She squeezed her eyes shut, harder than she imagined she could. “You know, my first kiss kind of went along these lines,” Fauna stood up, _oh no_. “except I got slapped,” _stop_, “but that’s beside the poi-“ The knob clicked, and the door swung open. Fauna’s face was still a tomato, but it was now due to slight annoyance rather than embarrassment.

“Jay, shut up,” she folded her arms mimicking her annoyed and-as well as she could manage-expressionless face. Jay was stood with his arms not completely crossed, his front hand cradling his elbow and the other his ribs. They stood there with nowhere else to look but each other. She would not lose the fight by talking first. He was the one forcing conversation anyway.

“O...kay.” He paused with a look of contemplation. She realized he probably expected to be ignored. A few beats later his free hand mimicked his speech as he continued, “So, to answer your question, I got the flowers for you, not really for the Easter crap I poorly covered it up with. I saw how hard you’ve been working for your degree… what is it mid-semester now?” Fauna didn’t answer nor move, “Right, uh, so I got them to cheer you up, I guess. Maybe the real reason was to see the smile on your face?” His lips thinned from his previous smile, “That, I probably shouldn’t have said out loud-” Fauna’s eyes crinkled from her raised lips and he only grew more nervous, “But, yeah, that’s the reason.” He leaned on the door frame relaxing his arms and tilted his head away from the wood. His eyes were stubborn, they still looked at her. She found admiration in them as she attempted to look for any emotion that wasn’t playful.

“If you’ve got something to say then say it. I’m getting pretty tired of standing here like a fool,” her tone became serious again as her voice died off.

“I really don’t know what to say. I tell you one thing and I know you’ll leave without giving me a second glance. I say something else, you’re mad at me. Another and- and I don’t know what you’ll think.” _Tell me, you idiot_.

“Just tell me how you feel dammit.” She punched him half-heartedly on his stomach, her eyes flickering from the point of impact to his eyes (maybe his lips once) again. His brows furrowed from frustration and his outer hand reached to rub the back of his neck. His face showed the internal battle that fought for the right answer. “Well? Tell me.”

“That’s a bit cheesy,” he smirked, earning another thump that landed on his shoulder this time. “Okay, okay! You know what? This is so stupid. I’ll show you.” _What?_ His face was coming closer to her at a mile a second. _Oh, oh like _show me_ show me_. Jay’s lips were much more certain than hers were at her attempt. Fauna, for a moment, forgot what to do with her face. Her stomach dropped farther than it had before. Her pulse quickened. Fauna imagined this moment with a man to be perfect. When she was 16, she imagined it to be with a black man like Lewis or Terrance. What she didn’t foresee was her fumbling hands as they went up to his shoulders,_ they’re supposed to go around his neck stupid_. Jay was much taller than her though, she could only link her fingers together at the base of his hairline. Not to mention she was trying to move her hands and her lips at the same time. She tried to cut herself some slack, it wasn’t like she had had a serious boyfriend since Lewis, (if you could call that serious) but it was hard not to be caught up in the ‘now’ as the heat in her cheeks built up for the millionth time that night. Jay was the first to break their connection once again, this time with a chuckle. Her bare heels touched the tiled floor as she untangled her stiff arms from around him. As they parted and Jay was the first to speak,

“This is weird… Is this weird?” His face betrayed his confusing statement with the upturned corner of his mouth. He turned to go back into the main room.

“Where you going?” Fauna was a bit tired of being left in the dark. Jay didn’t turn at her question, keeping his pace steady toward the kitchen.

“To make some coffee seeing as we are pulling an all-nighter at this point.” Fauna knew Jay wasn’t one to talk about feelings, but she thought this situation deserved an explanation.

“Are we not going to… you know…_ talk_ about this?” She followed his trail into the kitchen after standing in the bathroom for a few moments too long.

"It's only fair, you get to kiss me with no explanation I get to kiss you with-" Jay stopped his futile argument when he saw _the look. _

“Eh,” he waved his hand. “What’s there to talk about? I like you. You, well, I hope to God that meant you liked me. Otherwise…” he turned his neck to glance at her after putting a cup of coffee grounds into the machine, “Yes, I guess then we would have something to talk about.” He spun back around continuing the coffee-making process. The answer left Fauna helpless and a bit lost. She didn’t expect Jay to be the romantic type. Fauna herself didn’t want a walk on the beach between the two of them where the sun met the ocean, casting an orange pathway on the dark waves. And at just the right moment he’d spin her around, catching her, their foreheads meet, he confesses his undying love for her- No. Fauna wasn’t the ‘fall for a guy head over heels’ type of gal. Not since she was 16. But she couldn’t help the perfect imagery of two soulmates finding each other.

“Fauna, hey. What’s-?” Her fantasy was broken by his hand placed firmly on her shoulder. “You’ve got a weird look on your face. Look, if you really want to talk about it-”

“Oh, sorry. No, you’re right.” Fauna granted him a lovely fake smile. “There really isn’t anything we need to discuss. I-” she stammered, her breath catching in her throat, “I’m actually getting really tired now.” She withdrew her position under his grasp, “I’ll see you tomorrow!” Again, she found escape in his bedroom, hopefully for the last time in a while. She left her stunned partner in crime with a coffee mug in his hand and bags under his eyes, clueless.

"Jesus Christ."


End file.
